12/23/12

Zombie Dad: Episode One

- Opening Scene –

Dad, Mom, Son, and Daughter are hiking in the woods on a camping trip. Dad and Son are playful. Daughter is bored and tired. Dad and Mom kiss. There are no sounds for these scenes.

Narrator: This is the story of a family.

The family reaches a clearing in the woods.

Narrator: But not your typical family.

In the clearing is a zombie hiker eating a body. Family is shocked. Mom steps forward to help, unaware of the danger. Dad holds her back and steps forward himself. Son is scared, Daughter is freaking out. He calls out as he steps forward, to no effect. He calls out again when closer, and the zombie hiker turns, starts to crawl toward Dad.

Narrator: This is the story of a family tragedy…

Dad: Sir, are you okay?

Zombie lunges and bites Dad on the leg. Skip to camera shot of Dad looking up and screaming in pain. Family screams in the background.

Narrator: …And the love that keeps them together.

- Living Room Scene -

Camera shot of Mom, Son, and Daughter standing in the living room, as if posing for a portrait. They are smiling and trying to look into the camera, but they keep looking off to their right. The camera pans out and reveals the whole family. Dad (now Zombie Dad) is restrained to the wall, shuffling slowly and biting slowly at the air.

Zombie Dad Logo

Episode One: Living with the Living Dead

Mom in interview seat: Well, it’s been three months since Brian has… been dead, and I’d say that we’re doing alright. Things feel like they’re almost back to normal.

- Dining Room Scene –

Zombie Dad sits at the head of the table, comatose. Mom shakes his arm, and he starts, moans. Zombie Dad, head uplifted, grabs a handful of food and smushes it into his face, missing his mouth. Mom smiles politely and coughs into her hand.

Camera rotates around to Daughter, who looks utterly shocked and disgusted. Camera continues to rotate to Son, who looks on in utter adoration. Son picks up a pile of food and smushes it into his own face, just like Dad.

Mom: Lee, don’t play with your food.

Son in interview seat: Dad was always too busy before to play with me. And too tired. But now, we play all of the time! Catch, fishing knots, even Monopoly!

-Kitchen Table Scene –

Zombie Dad and Son sit across the table from each with a Monopoly board between them. Zombie Dad looks comatose.

Son: Your turn, Dad!

Son picks up the dice and rolls them. He then takes the game piece and moves it around the board.

Son: Go to jail, Dad!

Zombie Dad groans.

Son: Yeah!

Son in interview chair: He even found time to help me with my math homework. I got an A!

- Son’s Room Scene –

Son watches in fascination as Zombie Dad gnaws on a stack of papers, shredding them and getting them covered in blood.

- Classroom Scene –

Son walks up to the teacher’s desk and hands in a bloody pile of shredded papers.

Son: Here’s my math homework. My Dad helped me to do it.

Camera shot over the teacher’s shoulder as he stares at the bloody mess.

Camera shot of the teacher’s face as he stares at the papers.

Teacher: My god…

Daughter in the interview chair: Dad is completely gross now that he’s a zombie. I can’t even stand to be around him anymore. Like, vom-bomb city!

- Daughter’s Room Scene –

Zombie Dad and Daughter are sitting on her bed as she paints his toenails.

Daughter: So then Buddy said that he would vote for Jessie for class vice president when he knew that I was campaign manager for Domenique…

Zombie Dad groans.

Daughter: I know, right? And Buddy has that nasty mole near his nose, which I know doesn’t say anything directly about his character, but I think it still says a lot…

Zombie Dad groans.

Daughter: Totally.

Camera shot from over Zombie Dad’s shoulder, looking down. Zombie Dad’s pant leg slips while Daughter repositions his foot, revealing the festering bite mark. Daughter starts to gag and flees from the room.

Daughter in the interview chair: … I guess that he’s okay sometimes.

- Convenience Store Scene –

Camera shot of the entrance to the convenience store from outside. Zombie Dad comes shuffling out with a case of beer in hand. Daughter walks up to him, takes hold of the beer, and kisses him on the cheek.

Mom in the interview seat: It’s definitely been hard adjusting. (Mom’s voice begins to overplay montage of Zombie Dad trying to do things, but failing. Ex: chopping vegetables, but he chops off his finger and holds it up in front of the camera). We just have to carry on, one day at a time. In some ways, I feel like I’ve lost a part of Brian that I’ll never get back. (Back to Mom in interview seat) But in other ways, he’s the same as he always was.

-Bedroom Scene –

Camera shot at the bedroom door, cracked so that you can barely see inside.

Mom: (from inside) Oh yeah, big fella. You going to give me some “rigor mortis?”

Zombie Dad groans.

Mom: (giggles) Oh yeah, that’s my undead soldier. Oh, God… Hey. Hey! (as if commanding a dog) No! No biting! No biting! That’s a bad Brian! Bad!

Zombie Dad groans.

Daughter: Mom, shut up!!!

Zombie Dad in the interview chair: Can love exist after death? If a man can walk and gesture and eat, then is he really dead? And what is love, if not a hunger for the object of one’s affections? I feel no pain – all that I feel is need. Do I love my wife? Of course I love my wife. I love my family, and nothing will ever change that. I think that William Penn put it best when he said, “They that love beyond the world/ cannot be separated by it./ Death cannot kill what never dies.”

- Parking Lot Scene –

Camera shot of Zombie Dad gnawing ravenously on a bloody, furry lump of animal attached to a leash. There is a woman screaming. The camera pans out to reveal Neighbor, screaming and clutching the leash.

Neighbor: Oh my God!

Mom: Brian! Brian, no! Stop! No biting!

Camera pans right to reveal Mom running up to Zombie Dad.

Credits.

Tune in next time for Zombie Dad Episode 2: Working-Class Zombie.

No animals were harmed in the making of this webisode.

- Return to Parking Lot Scene –

Camera pans over and reveals Son gnawing on a squirrel, staring happily at Dad amidst the screams of the Mom and Neighbor.